Places Recommended Unrecommended

Read any travel magazine or agent's website, and you'll find a handful of restaurants always recommended to prospective visitors to Zanzibar. Beautiful shots of tanatalising plates with the wonderful sea view as background, romantic words painting idylliic pictures, shiny cutlery laid on crisp white tablecloths flapping in the Indian Ocean breeze...

When you arrive, hungry for luxury and accompanied by high expectations, you find nothing like it here. You look around and wonder whether you came to ther right place! Did the author actually come here? What century did they come here? And who paid them to publish all these lies...?

So I have been fooled and let down and will therefore revenge in giving a truthful account of places seen on my own time, food tasted with my own honest palate and words written freely to save innocent people from tastebud torture and dissapointing romantic meals...

Swahili House

The view from your table

I had my first lunch in Zanzibar at this beautiful restaurant and was impressed! The rooftop Restaurant sits on the rooftop, obviously, of a wonderfully restored old building, and overlooks the entire Stone Town. 180 degree views of this Unicef Heritage Site and historic town is worth the steep 6 storey climb.

Best Cheesecake in Zanzibar

Tastefully decorated in Afro-Arabic style, this is a wonderful location. Service is excellent and the friendliest barman I have met in my entire life. I was immediately impressed with the place and could not wait for my lunch to arrive. A stunning calamari salad arrived at the table and was small, but tasteful and elegant, just as the restaurant. I finished my meal with a slice of Vanilla Cheesecake- the deal maker or breaker. As an ex-pastry chef, I have come to measure a chef's talents on the desserts. Not only because it is the last thing you'll put in your  mouth and therefore the last memory of the food, but because it is a precise science that most chefs couldn't care any less about. Pastry is usually the unwanted child in a kitchen and displays the commitment and level of perfectionism the chef has to offer. But alas, the Vanilla Cheesecake did not seize to impress! It actually had vanilla, real seeds you could see and was even garnished with a whole vanilla pod! The striking visual of the Vanilla pod, plus the wonderful smell of it, enhanced the rich and crumbly, perfect cheesecake that sat atop a luminous orange Mango Coulis. The best cheesecake I have had in Zanzibar, still a year later.

The view from Swahili House

Few months later I boasted about this "you-have-to-eat-there" restaurant and treated a British friend of mine to dinner. I painted pictures of romance and excellent food, an experience you cannot leave Zanzibar without! We arrived to be met with a single waiter and an empty restaurant. There was no music, no atmosphee, the candles have not been lit and the waiter was so happy to finally see people that he at least was the best thing about the evening.



 

The bar and interior

 

No Mojito, and I do love a Mojito, for the lack of mint. Okay, it is Zanzibar and these things happen, but after the 4th choice in cocktail and 4th dissapointing lack of ingredient, I settled on some wine. Slightly pissed off and embarrassed, we went ahead and ordered food. The food arrived as bland and cold as the atmosphere in the restaurant and my so-called fillet, which I know for sure was a rump, was killed of all taste and moisture and all things that make it edible. The garnishings on the plate was a failed attempt at braised leeks and potato puree and for the sake of my tastebuds I did not even get half way through the fight before I threw in the napkin and called it a dinner. Not only were there no guests, but definitely no head chef that gave a damn!

My poor friend, with expectations shattered, suffered through overcooked fish and over-Zanzibar-Spiced rice and I could not apologise more. Needless to say, Swahili House broke my heart that night and I have never returned. I still recommend it as the best place for sundowners and to enjoy the view, but be warned, the prices are as steep as the 6 storey staircase and Quality checked out some time ago.


Tatu


Cute decorations on the walls on the 2nd floor



Tatu is Stone Town's newest addition: a 3 storey restaurant, bar and whiskey lounge all in one, therefore the name Tatu meaning 3 in Swahili. Clever. Set just off the centre of town, the location is promising and the decor is clean, fresh and modern, a complete opposite to the environment in which it is set. Unfortunately, this cool place is maybe just too European for the Africa traveller and for its own good.

If this place had been opened in a different town, or maybe a different continent, its future might be brighter, but after fishing the ex-pat market with discounts and loyalty cards, the three floors are a crowd.



Specials on a black board- Rustic charm



Floor one is a sports bar with a rustic feel and the sound of football and smell of beer welcome you as you enter from the steep staircase off the dirty Stone Town street. Locals gather and cheer as they stare at flat screen televisions and sip on their beer. Floor number 2 meets you with bistro chairs and tables crammed into a tiny space and almost falling off the balcony overlooking the ocean. It is charming and tidy and the cute decorations and clever antique signage keep you amused. If you have the guts to take the final steep, almost ladder-steep staircase towards the third and final floor, a beautiful sunset might await you with it's last African sunshine rays reflecting off the crystal chandeliers and 125 whiskey bottles flaunted behind the bar. Funky furniture, cool tunes and a very large selection of imported spirits make you feel as if you travelled further than only three floors.



The view from the 2nd floor

The menu is very European and consists of old favourites you would, I imagine, find at your local pub down the cold British streets... Roast Beef Sandwiches, Chicken Wings, Cheese Plates, Potted Crab, Fillet of Beef. Simple and soulful. Beautifully presented in modern crockery, reasonably priced and not at all bad tasting. My absolute favourite here, which had me go back a couple of times, is the Grilled Vegetable and Goats Cheese Salad with a Red Pepper Pesto. A simple, smallish salad but heaven on this cruel earth! I love it for the fact that it is so UN-Zanzibari, and for me, being here for a year and missing "normal" food, this is a comfort. But this is not Zanzibari, it is not even local. Yes, we have goats here but no village goat has ever produced an ounce of cheese, sadly, and red peppers and Rocket and Balsamico- so not African. Adding to this, the service is apalling and the waiters and waitresses seem so far from all the African hospitality going on around them, that you feel even further away. As a tourist destination- an epic fail.  

A Stone Town sunset from the 3rd floor





But for the boys and girls out there who are looking for some soul food like mama used to make on Sundays back home, this is the place to be. For the ex-pats looking for a place less African with international hits and Scottish Whiskey, look no further, if you don't mind rude and slow service of course. Tatu has no more Swahili inside, in its kitchen or on its menu than in its name. I would be surprised if Tatu lives to see another season, and it would be a shame to see these doors close as it is a nice 3 storey climb to a different continent and closer to home for some.

236 Hurumzi

I cannot say much about this restaurant, as I was never there. And not because I never got the chance, but because I was warned!

236 Hurumzi has been featured in numerous articles on Zanzibar and Zanzibar food. It has been voted one of the most romantic restaurants. it is spoken well of and advertised on websites and booklets. There are stunning photographs of Arabian decor, Shisha Pipes and mats laid on the floor and garnished with glorious finger food, where lovers sit on cushions and experience the wonders of Africa's meeting with the East.

But alas, this has gone to the dogs. No comment has come back positive and some even shocking, making me bow my head in shame as it was I who recommended it, based on all these untruthful or outdated media. Some so shocking and cruel that I wanted to give them their money back!

I have always wanted to see for myself but cannot get myself to spend my hard earned shillings on a place which has died, sitting soulless on the most beautiful rooftop and not even blinking with the shame of its tarnished reputation.

Lets take a minute of silence and bid a sad farewell to the heart of Stone Town, the hope of romantic evenings and the death of standards and wonderful places. 236 Hurumzi, I wish I knew you before you died.